For the Love of Strong, Competent, Men

On Men and Women Deprogramming from feminist Indoctrination

Just had a friend visiting and we had a ladies day & were talking at one point about marriage and relationships. Women our age received so much cultural programming, so much of it feminist and unnatural.

Trying to convince us we’re attracted to things we’re not attracted to.

Trying to convince us we want things we don’t want.

Trying to convince us that gender norms are not norms because they’re natural but because they’re forced on us. (The data on sex differences in occupation in egalitarian Scandinavia challenges that one btw. So do surveys).

Trying to convince us that gender norms are oppressive, when in the grand societal scheme of things, they are liberating.

If you’re a woman close to my age who woke up at some point, you know what I’m talking about. Even if you don’t fit the average yourself or are an outlier in some way; you get it. I’m thinking of a few of you who I’ve talked to before about this. We share a language that only fellow former cult members share.

Women* are naturally attracted to masculine men.

(*on average, yes duh. Supply your own “not all'“s for the rest of this essay, as my friend Josh Slocum says. We are adults. Quit insisting we all dumb down everything to the lowest common denominator.)

Women just want a strong, capable man who can protect them, would die for them, and who makes them feel safe and adored. A Beast who Civilizes himself for their love. Sacrificial and protective and possessive love.

So many women in leftist circles deny this. They want to believe the programming. They try to rewire themselves. I had a woke feminist friend who would beat herself up for being attracted to conservative men, to alpha men, to working class men. She would say, “I just find myself fantasizing about a man who can fix things with his hands. A man who looks like he could change a tire or fix a leaky pipe. Ugh. Why?” She was dating a man-bun feminist male who couldn’t fix anything. Insufferable. She told me she wasn’t attracted to him and she couldn’t understand why. He was “perfect!” He said and believed “all the right things!” She would cheat on him and agonize over it. At war with herself and her nature.

I remember Jordan Peterson talking about how if you analyze the plot of all romance novels - almost all of them boil down to the same story. Beauty and the Beast. Women want a civilized beast, I think he put it. A beast (dangerous, formidable, masculine, a protector) who would die to protect them. A beast who chooses to civilize himself and tame and control his animal nature (dying to himself to protect them, in a way) for the love of his wife. Sacrificial love.

My Husband, My Leader

The Bible commands women to submit to our husband. To let him lead. It also commands men to love their wife sacrificially, like Christ loves the church. That’s what prevents tyranny and control in the relationship where the wife submits. The agreement. Each loving as God commands. It doesn’t work if one or both don’t fulfill their part. If the wife won’t submit, the husband can’t lead and love her the way he’s commanded.

In the modern day, having to deprogram myself from years of cultural indoctrination, I have been slowly - year by year - learning how to let my husband lead. Walking that path together, shedding what the world told us, and learning to listen to what God tells us. This is what is natural.

My husband is my leader and my protector. He doesn’t abuse it. Neither is he threatened by my strong and silly personality. He’s strong. He leads naturally.

Thank God for strong men.