I was reminded of this last week, after a conversation with Leslie from The Radical Center, which you can watch here:
Kamran Pasha once told me that in Arabic the word Insān means human being. But it literally means “the creature that forgets.” Zikr means meditation or prayer. But it literally means “to remember.” Because the nature of man is to forget.
It speaks to the importance of prayer, as a part of spiritual practice. Like going to the gym - we have to keep doing it. We can't just work out once and be a physically fit (or spiritually fit) person. It's a practice.
This came from a conversation Leslie and I were having about being vulnerable to things like pride, ego, vanity - it's when we think we have conquered these things, when we take pride in our humility, for example (as CS Lewis so expertly points out in "The Screwtape Letters") that we are most vulnerable to them.
“Your patient has become humble; have you drawn his attention to the fact? All virtues are less formidable to us once the man is aware that he has them, but this is specially true of humility. Catch him at the moment when he is really poor in spirit and smuggle into his mind the gratifying reflection, “By jove! I’m being humble,” and almost immediately pride— pride at his own humility—will appear. If he awakes to the danger and tries to smother this new form of pride, make him proud of his attempt—and so on, through as many stages as you please. But don’t try this too long, for fear you awake his sense of humour and proportion, in which case he will merely laugh at you and go to bed.” - “The Screwtape Letters” by CS Lewis
Prayer is one way of mounting a defense against our own Cain-nature, against the temptations of the flesh, against the ego. It’s also a way of REMEMBERING what is important and marking each day in gratitude and reflection.
I had a conversation with a family, three generations there at the dinner table, this past week. I had just met this family and was bowed over from their kindness and welcoming spirit. We started talking about God at some point and the matriarch of the family grabbed her husband’s hand and told me, “We pray the rosary together every night. For 60 years. It’s how we take notice of each day.”
I was nodding my head in agreement, as this has become part of our spiritual practice in our home. My husband and I don’t pray the rosary together (maybe someday) but we do pray out loud together every night, and before meals. Our night-time prayers are the last thing we do before sleeping, and they are the longest. It’s how we mark each day, recognize the blessings we are given each day, make peace with our failings, and remember our friends and family who need prayers.
For a non-believer, it may seem like a chore, or something with no real value; I’m not actually sure how it would be perceived. But in the practicing, you find that it is perhaps the most valuable thing you can do together daily. There was a time, a few years ago, when we let this nightly ritual fall by the wayside for a bit - and it caused a dark time to become darker, through avoidance, turning a blind eye, and refusing to find gratitude in each day together. We made a vow never to let this ritual lapse again, no matter what we may be going through at the time.
Prayers help; I have seen them work wonders in my own life. They force you out of the meaningless happenings we can so easily be consumed with in daily life, and towards a remembrance of what actually matters. What are you grateful for? The things we so often take for granted include our health, our financial blessings, our house, the good health of family members and friends, a beautiful conversation or moment, indoor plumbling (!!), the growth we have made in our lives and in our relationships, the trials God has walked us through to help us become more disciplined and stronger on the other side.
If you are not a believer but would like to try prayer, I would encourage you to maybe start with saying what you’re grateful for each day. “Gratitude is the antidote to resentment.” I heard someone say that once, probably Jordan Peterson, and I started thinking about it daily: how true it is. Neuroscientists have shown that keeping a gratitude journal, or taking time out every day to say out loud what you are grateful for activates the hippocampus and amygdala, the areas of the brain responsible for emotions and memory. If merely remembering what we are grateful for elevates our mood, why not try it, whether you’re a believer or not? What can it hurt?
As for fellow believers, I think prayer is important not just for remembering, but as a defense against the darkness in the world and even in ourselves. When Paul writes about putting on the armor of God (the Belt of Truth, the Breastplate of Righteousness, the Shoes of the Gospel, the Shield of Faith, the Helmet of Salvation, and the Sword of the Spirit) he closes with, “Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit” (Ephesians 6:18). This is in a long passage where Paul reminds us, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12). Prayer is a necessary part of our armor against spiritual warfare, in our country, in our town, in our home and in our own hearts. It’s how we protect our family, our home and our hearts from the world.
"But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it." - Genesis 4:7
The mention of gratitude journaling reminded me that I used to write out ten things I was grateful for first thing in the morning (before even getting out of bed), then pray for three people I was finding difficult. I can't remember why I stopped, but a lot of emotionally centered days started that way. Might have to start it again.
For me, prayer is as essential as breathing. I process everything i go through with the Lord, which is itself humbling. The God who created the universe cares for my burdened heart.